Spooky

On Friday night we took the parents in law to see Woman in White. Not to be confused with Woman in Black. Or Lady in Red. Father in law Geoff found himself sitting next to Brian Blessed - every inch the bear of a man he appears on TV. How he squeezed his giant frame into the funsized bucket seat the theatre had provided, I don't know. He is apparently a very nice chap. He helped fund Rich Coylethrough drama school.

The palaver getting in and out of the seats put me in mind of my last birthday, when the Missus treated me to stalls seats at the opening night of the Producers (a musical so funny it obviates the need for anyone ever to write another one, although that won't stop me, Andy and Nick having a go).

We arrived rather late with a champagne buzz, and had to make everyone in our row stand up. Scuse me pardon me thankyou scuse me. We settled into our seats, wriggling around to establish leg room, unwrapped the maltesers, looked around to see if there were any famous people in.

There were.

Mel Brooks himself was but two rows behind us (shows what good seats we had!) cleverly disguised as an old Jewish guy. Now I'm not normally an autograph hunter (the look of polite embarrassment in the victim's eyes is one that I feel uncomfortable at having engendered) but the sense of occasion (and the champagne buzz) got the better of me, and, armed with a pen, I clambered back through the row to get Mel to sign my programme. Scuse me pardon me scuse me sorry thankyou.

Mel Brooks saw me approaching, and with a wave of a wrinkly hand, grunted "Sorry, I don't do that " and squashed me like a mini-bagel. I tried to think of something that would make him decide to make an exception in my case, but the best I could manage was "I don't normally do this either". Still, it was better than "Oh pleeease!". I wished him a great evening...

...and then made everyone in my row stand up again. Scuse me pardon me nice shoes thankyou up yours!